You believe that God is going to do something, but He does not. What do you do? The medical test comes back with a result you did not want to see. Your one shot at the next level falls through. You lose that relationship. You thought God wanted to do THIS thing THIS way, and it does not happen.
I thought I was going to be telling you a story about how God moved mightily at the retreat in the hearts of the athletes that I get to serve. I thought they were going to encounter the love of Jesus there.
I thought I was going to be telling you these stories, but I am not because none of it happened. None of the athletes I was hoping for ending up coming on the retreat. No hard feelings towards them, it just was not at all what I expected to happen.
So what did I do? I beat on God's chest. I asked for understanding. He so very gently corrected me.
As I sat at my desk, God reminded of the words that I used when I explained the retreat to the athletes. I said, "This retreat is FOR you, designed FOR you, to meet YOUR needs as an athlete."
God revealed to me that somehow what was "FOR them" became about me... Me and my ability to hit a goal for participation, or make progress that I can see.
In this moment of realization, I had a choice. I could allow this disappointment continue to be about me - me not hitting a goal, me not feeling validated, and me pulling down worth and value from "successful" ministry. Or, on the contrary, God could help me trust Him for personal worth and value, and believe that He must have something bigger and better in mind.
Bigger, like freeing me from the self-imposed burden of producing ministry results. Better, like receiving worth and value from being HIS CHILD. Bigger, like a weekly team bible study launching just 7 days after this major turning point. Better, like God giving me the right heart to SERVE the athletes in that.
Today, that bible study is FOR them, and not about me.
And that's way better.
Posted on Fri, April 1, 2016
by Sarah Smith filed under